Caution: Tiny Human Teacher in Training

One word has been on my mind a lot lately: DISCIPLINE. I knew the day would come when my child would be old enough to push limits and test boundaries… but I also secretly hoped we would just have a magical unicorn toddler who listened attentively and just wanted to do everything mama and papa asked.

SUCH IS NOT THE CASE. lol.

Cliff is a little spitfire, and truthfully, I love him for it. He has such a beautiful, intricate, complex personality…as we all do. He is sensitive and caring, mischievous and willful, all at once! He has so many big emotions and is taking in so much new information about the world each day. It’s no wonder he sometimes causes havoc on my hopeful expectations for our daily routines!

I was originally going to focus this post on how we have tried to introduce discipline for Cliff and how well (poorly) that is going. However, as I was starting to write, I realized that Cliff isn’t the problem at all here. I AM THE PROBLEM.

I don’t know the first thing about helping a human figure out the world!! How to teach him the rules of life while also allowing him to be himself and not some construct of society? How to manage his expectations while also allowing him to dream? This is a huge responsibility! People say that about having kids of course: “it’s a big responsibility”, but hasn’t that become somewhat of a trite phrase? It hasn’t been until now, when I really see Cliff learn about the world through my actions and my words, that I feel the heavy weight of that responsibility.

When I think on it, Cliff’s entire job is to push my limits and to test the manufactured boundaries I place on him. I would actually be worried if he didn’t. But it makes me take a step back to think about those boundaries and rules and consequences. Are they there because they are truly necessary for his safety and for the the safety and well-being of those around him? Or are they simply there to make MY life easier and simpler or to make ME feel more comfortable around others.

Obviously, discipline is important. My mother-in-law calls it “teaching with love” and I love that. I think I need to post it on my fridge. I know that it’s frustrating, but maybe if we remind ourselves that when our small children seem to (endlessly) test us and our limits, they are simply doing their job to learn about the world and figure out what is real and constant, we will find a little more peace amid the chaos.

I’ve found, more than ever, that I need to be open… open to new ideas about parenting and teaching. I need to be open to advice and even criticism. It’s not about me; it’s about my children. I want to do the best I can to help them navigate the world safely and freely.

For my son: I have a long way to go Cliff, to be the best tiny human teacher I can be, so please be patient with me! Together we will figure it out <3

Love,

Abbie